My head wants to explode right now and i want to die too

Maybe, the title above is too scary. But, if you see me right now. You'll trust me. Hhhh, ya ALLAH i want to die and die. That is because all the tests should i have done, all the lessons that made me almost crazy and plus with my mood isn't good right now. Again and again i want to tell "What shoud i do??" You make me going crazy, sure. I'm just a student and i must study, study and study. What the hell??!! I'm so so sorry. But, here i am mom. I'm just a kid who wants to be a happy girl. Always pray for me, mom. I LOVE YOU

New Game

Hey people, i have a good news for you. I have a new game. I know this game from my friend, Kartika Nur Rachma, grazie tita. Hehehe. Then you must try it, okay. Klik www.barbie.com you'll not regret! trust me. And feel the sensation. Buona fortuna :D

The facts

Ummmm, i want to let a few facts to you. Read carefully please.

1. There was someone who was not happy with my presence. With all of what I have achieved, he did not believe that it is the achievements that I can

2. Again and again i get the words 'you don't like what i think' um, why come out again?

Why and why? also why? i don't know why. Hahaha, the conclusion is WHY

I wanted to like this

I want to fly away like a balloon out of this

Or like this woman

I want to be a child again and play like this

Full of color like this

But this is life

Make it easier

Yes, i can! Hope i'll make my life better than before

Day to forget

Yes, today. I really want to forget this day. Because, today is annoying day to me. Sure, i'm really SURE. Because of for a million reasons that happened in this day. I wanna change my mind with a lot of happiness. Wish me luck okay.

Comes from the deepest heart

Hey, I do not know why this week could be said to be the week 'troubled' I. I am not a perfect woman, I am just an ordinary woman who was 15 years old and was in 2nd grade high school (IPA). Actually, I just want to make my parents happy, but somehow there was just a million problems that confront me to achieve it. Maybe this is what people often say that teenagers like me were 'looking for identity'. Well, that's true and I am very aware now. That made me realize was a friend of mine. He said that I was too serious in learning, too much thinking about things that did not matter (that in his opinion). But that's me. I was just a kid who wants to be happy, wants to be loved, want to feel the beauty of life but it is hampered by something called 'LESSONS'. It made me feel being in prison. I seems like a confined inmate. Or it could say that I stuck in my own world of free really. Can you imagine that? Creepy? Hhhh, I can only tell by the writing that I make this. I am not a person who likes to be something that is long-winded. I want everything perfectly achieved. Could all that? I do not think HAHAHAHA. Moreover I have failed in my major subjects. AAARGHHHH !!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to die. Want to hang myself, but I still have faith. I don't wanna die just because of that, but what can i do? I can only cry in the middle of the night when I was on the 'top' to the stress of me. All I can resigned it all to ALLAH. I'm sure ALLAH. Only by praying to ALLAH I can feel the serenity, peace. It's up if ENGKAU want to say I'm whining. But can you experience what I experienced? There will be no one who can understand my feelings right now. I do not understand why everybody can smile over the sadness that he experienced. I'm not like that. I'M NOT THAT. Mom, I just want to make you smile for me. But if I just pass it the class values you can smile and be proud of me? YA ALLAH I return all this to ALLAH, I was trying hard, but if this is what YOU give replies, I have received. Maybe because I am not a good kid. Yes, all do need a process. Being a successful person needs to process. Just like cooking. I do not know how long this process ends. I've lived so long in the process myself. But until now I do not know when all this will end. I want to be a strong woman, just had tears that I spend for this. Enough of all the sadness that I experienced because of this. I want to end it all, but how?

Can you imagine my activities? People say that enough time for sleep is 8 hours. I do not reach it. Every day. I'm afraid if I'm stupid?? or something. I felt I was always unlucky in test grades. I do not know why. Hhhh, only songs that can entertain me. That, that's it.

Touching words

I just found this word while I remedial biology today. These words were only there on a piece of paper that was worthless, but very meaningful to me and made me reflect. Read carefully

You'll never know till you have tried

Experience is the best teacher

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today

Practice makes perfect

The words listed above so touched my heart, how about you?